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Joke of the Day

"I have an outstanding warrant for loitering. *I don't know why my brain thought this was the funniest joke to replay during my sleep this morning but it made me wake up giggling."

Next Joke
 
"How do you get a hipster to take a shower? Give them a leaky showerhead. You know, so they can avoid the main stream."
"What's the difference? NSFW What's the difference between regular sex and anal sex? Regular sex can make your day, but anal sex can make your whole week Edit: fucking autocorrector"
"Chanting ""I'm not creepy"" in front of a mirror doesn't make you feel any less creepy."
"The Jerk Store Called, they're running out of you! -George Costanza haha, sorry this just came to mind and I had to share.."
"Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret."
"Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day... Teach a man to fish and he'll put you out of work."
"How do long distance runners send e-mail? On the sprin-ternet."
"What do ping pong players and my dominatrix have in common? They both like to paddle little, white balls."
"Christy's husband wants to get divorced. ""No way, John!"" says Christy. ""Widow you took me, widow you leave me!""."