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Joke of the Day

"Dont think about tomorrow because thats when the judge starts using the term premeditated."

"How does a baboon make phone calls? He just monkeys around on the line!"

"Welcome, take off your pants ...and jacket."

"What is the difference between a pedophile and a sexually active wife of a cop? One wants to cop a feel and the other wants to feel a cop."

"q: what's green and yellow and hangs from trees? a: gorilla snot."

"Math problem: Q: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? A: Diabetes. John has diabetes."

"Don't hate the game, hate the player who keeps sending you Facebook invites to play the game."

"My life has been going round in circles recently. I'm starting to think that my wheelchair is faulty."

"OK, Gravity wasn't very realistic. First of all, and I checked this, Sandra Bullock -- not an astronaut"

"Two condoms walk into the bar.. One says to the other ""Hey, wanna get shit-faced?"""