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Joke of the Day

"My life has been going round in circles recently. I'm starting to think that my wheelchair is faulty."

"What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck"

"""You clean up nicely"", is just a polite way of saying, ""You usually look like shit."""

"I'd give anything to be a philanthropist. That is all."

"What do a creationist and a dude with a dinosaur bone fetish have in common? They both get a hard on when they find a gap in the fossil record."

"They say not to go to the grocery store when you're hungry, but I ran out of food and few days ago, and it's just getting worse. :("

"Mom made me take Millie to the prom. With her dark hair and big, brown eyes, I didn't argue. Horseshoes can sure wreck a gymnasium floor."

"I like my chicken how I like my babies Deep fried and delicious"

"My pants are also my iPhone grease wipes."

"If you walk into a zoo and steal a duck do they call it stolen mallard?"