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Joke of the Day

"How many Trump supporters does t take to change a light bulb? None, they'll just make the Mexicans do it."

"I hope we're past the point in naval technology where loose lips still have the potential to sink ships."

"This one is an oldie but a goodie Your mom"

"[interviewing for job as assassin] Me: I only have 1 rule Interviewer: lemme guess. No women or kids Me: huh? No, I just won't work weekends"

"Did you hear about that poor gymnast's bank account? Her balance was outstanding."

"A lime and banana decided to become a stand-up comedy duo and called themselves ... Key and Peele."

"What's my favorite pirate workout and cereal? Captain Crunch"

"My friend told me he found a Gaylord Perry rookie card in his attic. Incredible. I had no fucking clue they made trading cards for the cast of Friends."

"What is a Brazilians favorite Pokemon? Zikachu."

"How do you get rid of somebody? Give them a ticket for a flight on Malaysian Airlines and hope that they will live up to their reputation!"