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Joke of the Day

"Q: How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern? A: With a pumpkin patch."

"I thought my wife was super pissed at me, but it turns out she was only ""disappointed"" in me. Thank God, I definitely dodged a bullet there"

"sex while camping? Now that's fucking in tents."

"Did you hear that the guy who invented predictive text has died. His funfair is next sundial."

"Why does the US name Arkansas Arkansas Because Its Arkansas not YourKansas"

"Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a truck."

"""You remind me of this hooker i knew."" ""You knew a hooker?"" hey you don't call her that, she's your mother."

"I'm putting together a mail-order-bride catalog featuring poor desperate American women looking for a way out...I'm calling it Facebook."

"Just killed a spider IN MY BED!! So if you need me, I'll be burning down my home and looking for a new place to live."

"Do you know what comes after the ""just the tip"" argument? Balls.."