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Joke of the Day

"[date started at 9 pm] [9:30 pm] Her: I love long awkward silences. [10:20 pm] Me: Me too."

"Today i convinced my brother for a full minute that the Beatles wrote ""blackbird"" about Batman"

"My Culture Brings all the Terrorists to the Yard... and there like Allah Akhbar, Damn right put a bomb in your car i'd preach you but i have to Hajj"

"YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST PART OF BEING ADDICTED TO METH IS?!? ONLY ONE MORE NIGHT TILL CHRISTMAS!"

"Doctor, how long do I have left to live? - Ten. - Ten what? - Nine."

"If you had lesbian parents, You would be in an endless cycle of ""Go ask your mother."""

"If HBO released all ten episodes of Game of Thrones at once, maybe I'd be able to remember the characters' names from episode to episode."

"I'm pretty busy today, so if you could just go ahead and offend yourself for me that would be great. Thanks!"

"Your secrets are safe with me, because I probably wasn't listening to begin with."

"Whitney Houston is 3 Years sober! Wow! Never thought it would happen"