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Joke of the Day

"Reporter: My editor sent me to do the burglary. Policeman: You're too late - it's already been done."

"friend: i want a bf me: i want to hold the reins of 2 equally powerful, beautiful horses who run w/perfectly matched paces & also respect me"

"How much do all the bones in the human body weigh? A Skele-Ton. Thanks, I'll see my way out."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because this joke was so bad, even Dane Cook wouldn't steal it."

"What's the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl? One shoots and shoots but can't hit, and the other..."

"I asked my girlfriend to shave her cunt. I woke up the next morning bald."

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? I can't marmalade my dick up your ass."

"Hey, baby, you wanna come back to my place, and become a famous murder victim?"

"In the Empire... In the Galactic Empire, there were two holonet channels. The first channel was Imperial propaganda, and the second was an Intelligence officer telling you to turn back to channel 1."

"Why did the Strip club manager reject a retired Fireman's job application? Becuase he'd fire hoes."