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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a zoo... The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.... It's a shitzu."

"What did the beaver say when he found out his new neighbour was a fish? Cod dam"

"Going for a walk because I want to stay healthy. Taking along a box of M&M's because let's be honest here."

"I swallowed a 1 coin today.. ..I went to the hospital and after poking around for 10 minutes he stuck his head up and said 'ok go home, come back if there's any change' Tight bastard!"

"""My girlfriend? You wouldn't know her. She's a bit underground."" ...said the hipster necrophiliac."

"[2 guys at open mic night] What are we gonna name our band? [from crowd] look at the one guys hair! LMFAO *they look at each other*"

"What technology are old people better at using than young people? Life support."

"When I was a kid I got in trouble for playing with Grandma Bella in the sandbox. Can't play with dead bodies apparently."

"why do you always have nicer earrings than me mexican babies"

"I once dated a meteorologist just so I could be with a woman who wasn't right all the time."