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Joke of the Day

"How can the blind not see... Get rid of the Jews if he can't see what color their eyes are?"

"Best garage sale ever! It's not advertised, nobody's here and it's all free! It's like my neighbor accidentally left his garage door open."

"I don't steal my tweets from song lyrics! Seriously. Y'all gon' make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here."

"I could tell you some great jokes about unemployed people... But none of them work."

"""Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes... ....That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."" ~ Jack Handey"

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick down your throat."

"How many Police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they are too busy beating the shit out the room for being black."

"I've spent today analysing some statistics about how drunk people walk. They're just staggering."

"I was on a ride at a funfair. One minute I was laughing my head off. Next I felt angry. Then I just became very sad. Turns out I was on an emotional roller coaster."

"One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours. About the same as a common Monday on Earth."