91234

Joke of the Day

"I don't steal my tweets from song lyrics! Seriously. Y'all gon' make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here."

"pizza has 5 letters if u double that u get 10 if u divide that by 2 u get 5 & if u do some more math u get 666 coincidence i think not"

"[somebody steals my car] it's only metal. the important thing is no one was hurt [somebody steals my tweet] MAY VULTURES FEAST ON YOUR EYES"

"A horse walks into a bar. The bar-man asks ""Why the long face?"". The horse not knowing English, shits itself and walks out the bar."

"TEACHER: ""Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"" JOHNNY: ""Sir my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."""

"Mom called to ask if I'd take her shopping. Me: What time? Mom: Anytime between 1-4. Apparently my Mom works for the cable company now."

"Change is inevitable... Unless you go to a vending machine."

"Decades of video games have left me WAY too confident in my ability to break open a wooden crate."

"if you don't appreciate Dwayne ""The Rock"" Johnson, I guess you could say you're taking him for granite. thanks & God bless"

"The list of things I hate the most is -Hate -Lists -Irony -Cheap jokes stolen from the internet -Irony -Repetition -Did I mention irony?"