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Joke of the Day
"Well, add 'making a simple phone call' to the list of 'things that give me panic attacks'."
Next Joke
"[dinner party] mario: what's in this risotto? me: mushroom, you're not allergic? mario: *grows to like 20 feet*"
"Illiterates won't understand this joke."
"Decided to start ranking my favorite minority groups: so far Lithuanians have a lot of catching up to do."
"My problem with McDonalds is I can't go retrieve my kids in the play tubes because I can't fit in the play tubes because I eat at McDonalds."
"Why don't married men live as long as single men? They don't want to!"
"Trump: ""Knock knock"" Hillary: ""Who's there?"" Trump: ""Interrupting Donald Trump"" Hillary: ""Interrupting Donald Tr-"" Trump: ""WRONG"""
"Rabbi So today I was wondering, when a rabbi performs a circumsision, does he get paid or does he just keep the tips?"
"What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein? No Whey Jose."
"To Doo List: 1. Cockadoodle 2. Yabba Dabba 3. Voo 4. Sea 5. Didgeri"