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Joke of the Day

"Well, add 'making a simple phone call' to the list of 'things that give me panic attacks'."

"Why did the bachelors purchase double amputee strippers for their party? Because they were 50% off!"

"How come the T Rex was an excellent stenographer? short hands.."

"What do you call a mentally handicapped lion? a leotard ~"

"Two guys walk into a bar... The first guy looks at the second guy and says... ""You ever wonder why we always walk in together?"""

"I don't believe in gender equality because there are just some things I'm not meant to do. Like be the sane one in a relationship."

"ME: someone stole my credit card number BANK: why would they spend $187 at a hot dog stand? ME: [hangs head in shame] that wasn't them"

"What's a python's favourite pop group ? Squeeze !"

"A corrupt politician turns the power off in an orphanage. What are they going to do, tell their parents?"

"Kentucky Derby trivia - Why don't female jockeys shave their pussies? They like their fur long! I'll show myself out..."