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Joke of the Day

"Why did the condom go flying through the air? He was pissed off. (It took me an embarrassing amount of time to get this one.)"

"Rio just listed a slightly used Olympic stadium on eBay."

"I bet you I could stop gambling."

"(Job Interview) Interviewer: So, tell me about yourself. Me: I'm unemployed. I: How about something personal? Me: Personally I need a job."

"What did one boob say to the other boob? You're my breast friend. Badum-tits."

"""i like the little round slices of shitty hard bread in chex mix. that's actually my favorite part"" -a monster"

"I like how babies always look drunk. Even after only one beer."

"I brought a can of WD-40 with me on a first date It had been a while since my last date, and I was afraid I might be a little rusty."

"This bar smells so bad and I can't tell who's homeless and who's a hipster."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Why bother calling it?"