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Joke of the Day

"My friend thinks her husband is cheating on her. I don't have the heart to tell her he's just out chasing Pokemon."

"NORAD tracking Santa? Really? That's what my tax dollars are going to? You're tracking a fictitious fat dude?"

"What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking? You slow down and use lube ( )"

"Why did the Redditor cross the road? To bask in social approval."

"What do you call a bunch of white guys and a one black man Court"

"Texan: So where you from? Harvard graduate: The kind of place where we don't end our sentences with prepositions. Texan: Where you from jackass?"

"What do you call the piece of plastic behind the windshield in an Iraqi car? A Daeshboard"

"Whats so great about banging 26 year olds? There's 20 of em"

"Paul Walker was in Eight Below... ...and now, he's six below."

"How much lube should you buy to prepare to have sex with a McDonald's fry cook with a cheddar fetish? About a quart to pound her with cheese."