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Joke of the Day

"I removed the shell of my racing snail to make it go faster. But it just made it more sluggish."

"Arnold's is long and hard.. The president's is very short, Madonna doesn't have one, and the Pope has one, but he doesn't use it."

"The difference between a scientist and a plumber... The way you pronounce unionized."

"Can someone finish this joke? My friend wrote this much before he committed suicide:""Three prostitute nuns walk into a bar..."""

"If Donald Trump was a fruit what would he be? A walnut."

"Hate being a funeral director ""why'd u take the job?"" I inherited it from my dad ""You could've just declined it"" And lose my first customer?"

"Did you hear about the Chinese brother's that tried to start a German Empire? Turns out two Wongs don't make a Reich."

"Studies show 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of our population."

"What do you call a WWII battle that finished it's senior year at communism school? Leningrad"

"What's the difference between inlaws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted."