215776

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken? One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg."

"UVA did something King James couldn't do.... Brought a championship to the Cavaliers!"

"I read somewhere that only 2/11 jokes are funny. Well, what I read was that 9/11 jokes are never funny, but I like to be positive."

"a dude sitting next to me in the ER asked how to spell ankle & then correctly identified Rush Hour by a scene without jchan or chris tucker"

"[Meta] the number of subscribers in this sub is a joke right? Did I miss something?"

"I had to quit the massage business. I kept rubbing people the wrong way."

"[getting dating advice from my dad] Just be yourself and don't do anything stupid ""Well which one is it?"""

"NFL No Fingers Left"

"Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face."

"My thoughts today are like underwear, I don't have any clean ones."