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Joke of the Day

"Picking up someone at a bar when you're drunk, is like going to the grocery store hungry... You end up taking home crap you didn't want."

"I brought my cannibal friend over to a party... He sucked the life right out of it."

"I'm thankful for my Twitter family. Without you people, I'd still just be talking to myself"

"Skydiving without a parachute... Is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I heard this on a spotify ad and it cracked me up. I thought I'd share it.:) Edit: fixed an auto correct mistake"

"FUN PRANK: Put a bike lock on a bike that already has a lock. Leave the owner a note saying you guys share joint custody of the bike now"

"After the poor quality of the front page lately This new algorithm better be so good I can read about news before it happens"

"Why don't Junior League debutantes like group sex? Too many Thank You notes to write."

"New to reddit so thought I'd start by sharing one of my favourite jokes. When is a pixie not a pixie? When he's got his head up a faeries skirt, then he's a goblin!"

"If you are going to Taco Bell for a diet, you have a bigger problem than your weight."

"What's the difference between a Soap Opera and a Trailer Park? A Trailer park has much more interesting drama and less than a third of those pesky white teeth."