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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Tim Howard and Jesus? Jesus had 11 guys he could depend on."

"Samsung Gn7 user here. despite all the abuse they're getting I was surprised that it's actually a really great phone I mean the battery life alone just blew me away"

"Somebody told me that rum and coke wasn't the answer to my problems. I told them that it might not be the answer, but it was certainly a solution."

"A sheep, a drum and a snake fall off a cliff... Ba-Dum-Tsss"

"I farted while lifting a heavy object today. It was very embarrassing. I had to apologise to the man at the next urinal."

"Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because Jewish women won't go near anything that's not 20% off."

"We need to be more concerned about dinosaur ghosts"

"@JustCallMeMike_: Make allergy season more exciting by snorting confetti so that every time you sneeze... it's like a little party on your face."

"My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician."

"Whats the odd one out ? The man on the moon? Santa Claus? Or an honest Lawyer? Yes you got it Santa. The other two are figments of the imagination."