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Joke of the Day

"Russia might not celebrate thanksgiving but I'm pretty sure they will be frying a turkey."

"England at the Rugby World Cup"

"I've always wanted to buy 2 coffees, take them to a crime scene & while handing 1 to the officer in charge ask, ""So, what do we have here?"""

"I'm trying to initiate a neighborhood watch program but the damn neighbors keep closing their blinds."

"what gets wet when it dries?? a towel"

"I'm so horny... I going to beat my dick like it owed me money"

"Me: Did you finish the banana bread? 16: yep Me: Great, because it was actually a healthy zucchini bread. 16: THIS HOUSE IS FULL OF LIES!"

"I'm available if anyone needs me to ruin a good thing before it even starts."

"What does a sheep in denial say? Nahhhh"

"A bought my girlfriend bondage supplies as a gag gift She was at a loss for words"