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Joke of the Day

"I want to be a large, Southern black woman who fans herself in church when I grow up."

"Q: Which way did the programmer go? A: He went DATA way!"

"Why do baked bean cans contain only 239 beans? Because if they had one more, they would be 240."

"How do you turn German beer into American Beer? Drink it"

"Whoever said you cannot live off of wine and cheese alone did not try hard enough."

"Tattooing bullet holes where I had a stomach ache so I never forget what I've been through."

"Chicken stock has gone up today, but only by a poultry sum."

"I tell people I broke my neck playing sports but it was actually from flicking my ponytail to unleash ancient curses."

"Life is like a bowl of soup You only get blown if you're hot"

"Why can't Chinese have Caucasian children? Because two Wongs don't make a white."