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Joke of the Day
"I'm about as jealous as a cancer patient watching x-men right now"
Next Joke
"""Hi. I'm an insane maniac."" - People who write more than three sentences to describe an Instagram photo"
"Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land."
"If it looks like a fish and smells like a fish... Shes's probably too old for you."
"Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one mosquito? Because an itch in time saves nine."
"Taking the lives away from 12 baby chicks. Bought an egg carton at the grocery store..."
"My kids decided to move a piece of furniture to a random spot, I wonder how much it will cost to fix whatever they're covering up"
"Hey doofus, the fashion police called. Your father died last night on duty. He wanted you to have this. ""Slim fitting houndstooth peacoat*"
"A guy storms home and yells at his wife ""You slut! I know everything!"" The wife smirks, and calmly replies: ""Oh yeah? Then how high is Everest?"""
"I was thinking of dressing has Nan form American Horror story : Coven But the thought of it brought me 'down'"