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Joke of the Day
"If you laid all the veins in your body end to end... you'd be dead."
Next Joke
"I, for one... is a roman numeral."
"TIL Lewis Black is still alive."
"THERAPIST: What's the problem with your marriage? WIFE: He replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise"
"Is your lizard not working? You may have a reptile dysfunction."
"When I was a kid I got in trouble for playing with Grandma Bella in the sandbox. Can't play with dead bodies apparently."
"My wife asked me to play doctor with her... ...she is now waiting for three hours in front of the bedroom."
"Two sowing machines are sitting in a bar.. And one says, *""Are you a singer?""* Then the other replies, *""Why? Janome?""*"
"Dear car commercials, You probably don't mean to scare me but ""German engineering"" is also why I don't have so many cousins today."
"Captain America: WHERE ARE YOU WE NEED YOU Black WINDOW: FOR THE LAST TIME YOU GOT THE WRONG NUMBER"