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Joke of the Day

"Captain America: WHERE ARE YOU WE NEED YOU Black WINDOW: FOR THE LAST TIME YOU GOT THE WRONG NUMBER"

"How do you know if a fortune-teller is shit? You knock on her door and she shouts ""Who is it?""."

"Congrats on being one of the ""cool kids"" in Highschool. Too bad about the rest of your life though."

"What does a nerd and a bad baseball player have in common? They both can't get to first base!"

"Some people can ruin how attractive they are by doing this weird thing with their mouth... it's called ""talking"""

"I have decided I will never get down to my original weight. Besides 7.5 pounds is unrealistic anyway."

"I'm doing well on my New Years resolution to lose 10 pounds I only have 15 more to go."

"What's better than winning the wheel chair basketball championship? Having legs..."

"How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? ..To get to the other side!"

"Act now to enjoy a false sense of urgency!"