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Joke of the Day

"When I was a kid I got in trouble for playing with Grandma Bella in the sandbox. Can't play with dead bodies apparently."

"How do you make a flea circus? From scratch."

"What number is most common in earth sciences? e"

"If Bugs Bunny was as sarcastic in real life as he was in the cartoons I'd be like, ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING RABBIT!"""

"ROAR Did you here about the lion joke it will make you ROAR!!!"

"What do you call a crowd-sourced internet database for turntables? Wiki-Wiki-Wikipedia"

"Me: *returns from bakery with a bap, bagel, bun & cob* Wife: What are these? Me: The synonym rolls you asked for. Wife: CINNAMON."

"Two topics which should never be in the same sentence ""Zika"" ""Can I get a little head"""

"How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just redefine 'darkness' as an industry standard."

"If you keep pronouncing the L in salmon I going to stab you with my kah-nife"