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Joke of the Day

"I decided to write down all the pieces of classical music I want to play before I die... ...it's my bucket Liszt."

"Instead of Kanye learning anybody else's name, I bet he calls everyone Not Kanye."

"What do you get when you cross a camera with a mirror? A camera that takes pictures of itself."

"Whats the difference between a prostitute with dysentery and an epileptic oyster shucker? The oyster shucker, shucks between fits......."

"Knock, knock, it's the police open the door. -Can you wait, I'm taking a shit! -We know, the telephone booth is see through"

"How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they'll just beat the room for being black."

"What type of store doesn't move? A stationary store."

"I just checked Web MD and a heart that grows two sizes is called a cardiomegaly and the grinch is pretty fortunate to be alive."

"I bet coke addicts only get worse once they try the cherry kind."

"Shoutout to my grandpa. That's the only way he can hear..."