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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a prostitute with dysentery and an epileptic oyster shucker? The oyster shucker, shucks between fits......."

"Jaws (2015): ""(cell phone) Hi Coast Guard, yeah a shark is banging my boat oh you're on your way great thanks"""

"Whats the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws and one is a pause at the end of a clause."

"Her: Stop being absurd. Just be yourself. Me: Make up your mind."

"My girlfriend just texted me this: Babe,myspacebarisbroken.IneedanalternativeASAP! Anybody know what 'ternative' means?"

"Calling someone ""stupid"" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it's just a diagnosis."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Althea ! Althea who ? Althea in court!"

"There's a spider in my bathroom. I neither can kill it or capture it, so now it has its very own room in my house to raise its spider family"

"Have you heard of the italian chef that died? He pasta away!"

"AMA Request: Someone who has successfully committed suicide."