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Joke of the Day
"ur only a true 2012s kid if u remember kony"
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"What is the worst part about being black? You never know if your gums are bruised."
"*first day as almond milk factory worker* where the tiddies at"
"""She queefed violently, immediately fogging the windows of my Volvo wagon. I knew then I belonged to her."" - from my new novel, NIGHT SOIL"
"Did you hear about the paperboy who masturbated on the job? It was all over the news! (Can't remember where I heard this, so sorry if its a repost)"
"Q: Why don't women wear dresses in the winter? A: They could get chapped lips!"
"[my husband turning onto our street] ""know what I think?"" husband: you don't have to say it everytime. ""we've been down this road before"""
"I can't do this. I think I'm dying. Why does your face look like a donut? ~ me 30 minutes into dieting"
"What's tall, white and has ears? A mountain."
"An Irishman walks out of a bar. Edit: For clarification, that's the joke."