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Joke of the Day

"What's tall, white and has ears? A mountain."

"How did Hitler like to have his juice in the morning? 100% concentrated."

"I bet a girl that I could touch her boobs without touching her for $5. Paid her the $5 after I touched her boobs."

"I applied for a government job today and accidentally sent the wrong resume. This early display of incompetence should work in my favor."

"What did Germany say to Britain during World War II? I'd luft to waffe a few bombs in your direction."

"I recently received my PhD in palindromes. I now go by Dr. Awkward"

"Joe: Okay so we sneak in one night around February, steal his shoes Obama: Joe Joe: And then dump legos all over the floor"

"Who the hell does that in a sock?!? *squishes out of the room*"

"Your girlfriend should never be jealous of another woman. Instead, you should do your best to make other women jealous of her."

"Every time I go to get an HIV test, I'm convinced it's going to come back positive And every time, I'm right."