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Joke of the Day

"who called it your 4th stepfather instead of mom beau number 5"

"A fun thing to do would be to eat rat poison during a dinner party & then, when you die, they'll blame the host's cooking. Lol."

"I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down."

"After their meal of rawmen and a cup of joe, what do cannibals use to freshen their breath? MenToes"

"i dont care if people dislike me, but if a pet ignores me, i will hit them up nonstop & keep changing my look drastically until they love me"

"*sings Hakuna Matata during your meltdown*"

"So I was all ""I'm not taking any shit from you, bitch"" and she was all ""to speak to a member of our customer service team, press 1""."

"A guy cat calls a girl ""Hey, what's up girl?"" ""My eyes."""

"Whats common between the world trade centres and genders? There were once two but now they're too offensive to talk about."

"My sister told the police that I mistreat my pets. My own little sister! I guess that's the thanks I get for giving her a goldfish necklace."