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Joke of the Day

"I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down."

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"I used to date cross-eyed women just to feel better about myself after sex."
"Following someone on Twitter and complaining about what they tweet about is like phoning someone to tell them you don't want to talk to them"
"How do you think the unthinkable? Hit an itheberg."
"To the man who just got naked in public I admire your balls"
"How did the Shepherd find the sheep in the tall grass? ... Satisfying."
"When I was 16 years old, the morning of my birthday, my parents tried to surprise me with a car, but they missed."
"If you want a waitress to leave you alone for a half hour, tell her you need 5 more minutes to order."
"Regarding hungergames mockingjay Who is jay? and why are they always mocking him?"
"I think Santa is a pimp all he talks about are Hos."