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Joke of the Day
"Why do gorillas have such big nostrils? because their fingers are so big."
Next Joke
"{Working as a bouncer} ID please *looks* Okay you can go *softly kisses their forehead first*"
"I went to the doctor last week for a bad headache When he reached for his pen to write my prescription, he pulled out a rectal thermometer. ""Shit"", he said, ""Some asshole has my pen."""
"My cookies fell in the toilet... [NSFW] My cookies fell in the toilet. Picked them up like a boss. Proceeded to eat them. They tasted like shit."
"Why does Ellen Pao play so much tennis? Its the only place she can get love."
"Q: What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and crosses back over? A: A dirty double crosser."
"[restaurant] WAITER: [brings bill] ME: I got this DATE: Thanks ME: [gets out piggy bank] [hits it w/ hammer] [it is filled w/ bees] ME: RUN"
"My girlfriend refused to make a porno with me.. saying there are enough vine stars already"
"I became a banker. Then I lost interest."
"Why are pirates so bad at telling jokes? Instead of 'knock knock', they say, 'Arrr you there?!'"