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Joke of the Day
"Why does Ellen Pao play so much tennis? Its the only place she can get love."
Next Joke
"Why is Congress like a cold? Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the no's (nose)."
"What did Jesus say when they un-nailed his hands from the cross? THE FEET, THE FEET, THE FEET!!!"
"Why do aardvarks make undesirable neighbors? Because they always have their noses in other people's business!"
"Every 3 seconds a woman has a baby Our mission is to find this woman and stop her."
"Today at 8:24 PM it will be 7/16/15 8:24. That is the only time this year such a thing will happen"
"If people from Poland are called 'Poles', why aren't people from Holland called 'Holes?"
"What happened in France? Did they release a GTA Go?"
"Why was the baby in Africa crying? It was having a mid-life crisis."
"Mom: Time to wake updog. Son: *groggily* What's updog? Mom: Just waking you up for school, dog, what's up wit u? Dad (from hallway): OWNED"