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Joke of the Day

"Why does Ellen Pao play so much tennis? Its the only place she can get love."

"Nobody I'll change my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts,and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this"

"Why was the stoner kicked out of the eating competition? He was caught using performance enhancing drugs."

"I was called a village idiot today which really upset me. I live in a city."

"Laugh and the class laughs with you. But you get detention alone !"

"What does a man with a 10-inch penis eat for breakfast? I had a bagel."

"What does a hairstylist call their resume? A tresume."

"How does a mathematician get to work? He derives!"

"Old people love My grandma rubbed butter on granddad's feet when he was ill. He went downhill fast after that."

"If God hadn't meant the pussy to be eaten, he wouldn't have made it look like a taco."