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Joke of the Day

"What did one unemployed cancer cell say to the other unemployed cancer cell? Let's get Jobs. Found in the comments of a /r/til post by /u/laurelwraith"

"sorry i lost my nudes can u send me yours"

"Chuck Norris was once on Jeopardy. This show is notable in that it was the first occasion in Jeopardy history that Alex Trebek had appeared without a mustache. And a head."

"What did the flower couple call their two babies? Poli, Nate"

"What's the difference between a pitbull and a social worker? You might get your baby back off a pitbull."

"At what point in time were cats being stored in bags so frequently that they had to come up with the phrase: ""the cat's out of the bag""?"

"Him: What's your fantasy, baby Me: Me, you and my cat wearing matching sweatersWHERE ARE YOU GOING I HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD YOU ABOUT THE NACHOS"

"Sometimes it seems like Anthony Weiner doesn't even have a sense of Huma."

"This was the funniest joke in the world when I was five. why did the chicken cross the road roll in the dirt and cross the road again? because he was a dirty double crosser!"

"Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a wedding cake."