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Joke of the Day

"This was the funniest joke in the world when I was five. why did the chicken cross the road roll in the dirt and cross the road again? because he was a dirty double crosser!"

"What's the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday."

"Why can't Barbie get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a separate box."

"What was Hitler's favorite battery? The nein volt"

"i bet you spend all your money pizza and hookers. Pssh Dad, i dont spend money on pizza thats ridiculous."

"The worst part about being told you have Alzheimer's? It doesn't just happen the once. And I'll be posting this again later. If I remember."

"The cemetery down the street seems like it's a pretty exclusive club People are dying to get in"

"What do you say when you kill five black people with one grenade? (Offensive) Triple kill!"

"Perfect Date: 1) Get kids out of the house 2) Light some candles 3) Burn the house down 4) Collect the insurance 5) Take her somewhere nice"

"Why did Barty Crouch Jr. stop drinking? It was making him Moody"