88923

Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris was once on Jeopardy. This show is notable in that it was the first occasion in Jeopardy history that Alex Trebek had appeared without a mustache. And a head."

"I don't believe in hitting my children as punishment... So I send them to school in a Justin Beiber shirt and Crocs and let the other kids beat them instead"

"Two parrots are sitting on a perch. The first one says to the other ""can you smell fish?""."

"What's the difference between a Goodyear tire and 365 condoms? One is a Goodyear and one is a great year"

"The hardest part of eating a vegetable... Is the wheelchair."

"Says the Titanic to the Iceberg... so I was sinking..."

"Does anyone on here know how to ""unhook"" Amazon from my Twitter so that I can order things without giving people the idea I am Really bald??"

"Active voice: I loved your book Passive voice: Your book was loved Passive-aggressive voice: I love how you felt the need to write a book"

"What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio's face? Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie..."

"I was pretty excited about this box of elbows before I saw that it was only macaroni."