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Joke of the Day

"What I hated about church as a kid was.. all the standing up, and sitting, and the knelling I had to do. I just wish the priest would pick a position and fuck me already."

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"Which Disney character is Trump's favorite? WALL-E"
"What is the difference between a group of Pygmy riddlers and a lesbian track team? One is a group of cunning runts and the other is a group of running cunts."
"Why did brass and steel team-up together during the war? Because they were alloys."
"Is that a booger in your nose? No, it's snot."
"Are news readers secretly insulting you? **Moron this story later.**"
"The scene from The Exorcist where she's tied to the bed cursing like a sailor, but it's me when getting a Brazilian."
"I have a big butt and I can not lie."
"When skinny girls say ""I'm so fat"" to fish for a compliment from me, I just agree."
"Why do comedians hate noble gasses? They give no reaction."