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Joke of the Day

"Noting that it's Friday AND my Cake Day so if you could.... go ahead and come in on Saturday that'd be great....mmmkay thannnks"

"What's the difference between a lobster with a boob job and a Greyhound terminal? One's a busty crustacean and the other's a crusty bus station."

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth.... and vagina? Only SOME of the things that come out of her vagina are retarded!"

"What's Canada's intelligence agency called? The C.I. Eh"

"If you think that there's nothing that can make your plants stay alive... Watering can"

"TIL that there are over 1 million battered women in the US. And I've been eating mine plain! Who knew?"

"With so many Americans upset with the candidates in the upcoming Presidential election, we should look on the bright side ... ... and please let me know what it is when you've found it."

"What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache? A bad mood!"

"What do we want? HEARING AIDS! When do we want them? WHAT?!"

"What do you call a hippopotamus in an I.C.U.? Hippo-critical."