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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth.... and vagina? Only SOME of the things that come out of her vagina are retarded!"

"Misanthropy I joined the local misanthropes society but none of the other members like me."

"I think the large hand on my watch is lagging. Sloppy seconds"

"My wife said she wanted to see 50 Shades of Grey. So I took a photo of her hair!"

"ELECTRICIAN: [walks into home] GF: WHY ARE YOU IN SO LATE? E: Honey, we've talked about this. GF: [sadly] Ok.... wire you insulate?"

"They say one in every 3 neighbors is a pedophile Thankfully there isn't one next to me... just 2 smoking hot 6 year olds."

"Ah, the great Rental Car Kabuki Dance: I turn down the coverage and prepaid gas, the clerk admonishes me for the folly of my ways."

"Do you think when Spider-Man gets stoned with Batman and the Hulk he sometimes thinks the spider on his chest is real and freaks out?"

"What is it called when a bull made of snow eats explosives? A bomb in a bull snowman."

"what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm Rape!"