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Joke of the Day
"Is as bored as a guy with no arms looking at porn."
Next Joke
"What is horse sense? Stable thinking and the ability to say nay!"
"""The mood was somber plus it was a total sausage fest. The unlimited fish & loaves were a nice touch though.""-Yelp review of the Last Supper"
"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... Ba dun tsshh"
"#liestoldbygirls I am an 18th century mahogany cabinet."
"I told my friends a joke about airplanes... ...but it went way over their heads."
"My 4yo just noticed me trying to throw out an old, wrecked piece of Lego & by the look he gave me I'm afraid to go to sleep now."
"Instead of a condom i keep a moist towelette in my wallet because i run into buffalo wings alot more often than sex"
"Why do Mexicans make burritos? So they can unwrap something for Christmas!"
"""there's no such thing as a stupid opinion"" said the world's first feminist"