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Joke of the Day

"#liestoldbygirls I am an 18th century mahogany cabinet."

"Facebook has a confirm and ignore friend requests buttons. I think it should have a ""who the fuck are you"" button"

"Where does bad light end up? in prism"

"I'm shit at telling jokes. I always punch up the fuck line."

"Why don't more people cook Armenian food? Because it can be very thyme-consuming."

"An old couple were in church the other morning and the old lady said to the old man ""I've just broken wind silently, what will I do?"" He said, ""First thing is get new batteries for your hearing aid""."

"My friend David had his ID stolen the other day so now we just call him Dav."

"You can idolize anything... You just have to put your mind into it."

"I used to be addicted to soap It's okay I'm clean now"

"[guy who named the bedroom gets home] Honey? Our son got in trouble at the learnroom. His teacher called while I was driving in my wheelsbox"