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Joke of the Day
"#liestoldbygirls I am an 18th century mahogany cabinet."
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"It took Michelle Obama two presidencies to get kids outside... and Nintendo two days."
"There have been many time in 2010, when I have annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you, bugged you... today I just wanna tell you... I plan to continue in 2011!"
"What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste"
"REACT [removed]"
"If we get pulled over this beer is yours. - Dads"
"My girlfriend is quite pessimistic about our sex life, but I'm a vagina half full kind of guy."
"What kind of dog is best at keeping secrets? hush puppies"
"how many How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? I'd tell you, but you probably wouldn't understand anyways."
"What is white and disturbs your breakfast? An avalanche"