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Joke of the Day

"I marched in a high school band, caught an armed robber, and sold girl scout cookies. All I was trying to do was find my car."

"How Did Harry Potter Get Down The Hill? Walking. Jk Rowling."

"How does a Muslim find a goat in tall grass? Sexier when his child bride is holding it."

"Where does David Cameron keep his hidden money? In the Piggy bank"

"I just ordered a party hat for a cat over the Internet while flying on a plane at 35,000 feet. We should really stop inventing stuff."

"If by ticklish, you mean I'll turn into a rabid chihuahua on bath salts if you come near my underarm, then yes I'm a little ticklish."

"[sees cute girl jog by] ""Imma run up and ask her out"" [one block later still not caught up] ""Ok, wow, we probably weren't soul mates anyway"""

"What do you call a small dog? A subwoofer!"

"you read this wrong"

"3 legged Dog A 3 legged dog walks into an old western salon, looks around, and says ""I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."""