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Joke of the Day

"[staff meeting] ""Ya so heads up, someone grabbed my lunch from the fridge, and there's a 420% chance you shouldn't eat the brownie inside"""

"What has four legs and quacks? A paradox"

"What kind of goat did Houdini have? A scapegoat."

"My girlfriend's not up for being fisted tonight. I guess I'll just put my feet up."

"What color do you think Eddie Smurphy was? Blue, you racists"

"What do you get when you cross a pig and a spider? Bacon and scrambled leggs."

"A Roman Emperor orders his guards to arrest his wife. He orders them to Ceas'er."

"Which reindeer have the shortest legs? The smallest ones."

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche? With the porcupine, the pricks are on the outside."

"How many Harvard graduates does it take to change a light bulb? One. He just puts it in the socket and lets the world turn around him."