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Joke of the Day

" You're born. You grow up. You believe in Santa. You stop believing in Santa. You look like Santa. You are Santa. You die."

"I recently saw a psychic, a mystic, a palm reader, and a fortune teller all laughing together at something I couldn't understand. Must have been an insight joke..."

"What is a group of gay pirates favorite pastime? Pegging each other's booty"

"In Dublin, a very nervous Liam brings his girlfriend to meet his father for the first time. Liam (to father): This is Amanda Father: A fooking WHAT!?"

"One time I made a snowman and gave him a cucumber nose. Carrot noses are the standard protocol but I'm what u would call a rebel."

"How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast? He foamed at the mouth."

"What did San Andreas said to the Earthquake? This is all your fault!"

"Google search history: Marawana Marjawana Is there a j in marawana Wheat Wheat for smoking Free wheet"

"I leave spider carcasses on the wall to make sure the other spiders understand.."

"I'm either tired or hungry at all times. Often both."