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Joke of the Day

"Loneliness Status: Eating donuts and talking to the dog. He seems interested, but I think it's the donut."

"Did you hear Wells Fargo has a baseball team? They are really good at stealing homes."

"[job interview] ""What's your biggest weakness?"" ""My honesty"" ""I don't think-"" ""I broke into ur house and made love to ur cat last night"""

"What did the Vagina say to the Anus? I'll meet you at the Taint."

"Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, you will pay. You have my Word."

"I was learning about the Holocaust in history class today. I couldn't concentrate."

"The Humane Society will give Donald Trump $5 if he releases that thing on his head back into the woods."

"Did You Hear about the Gender Identity Problems among Robots? Yeah. They all have trans-sisters..."

"New Year's Resolution- Date more models... Edit: Date more Edit: Date again LAST Edit: Stop crying while masturbating"

"Welcome to anxiety club, I really hope more people show up. Maybe there was a terrible accident and everyone that was coming is now dead"