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Joke of the Day
"What did the Vagina say to the Anus? I'll meet you at the Taint."
Next Joke
"Mom: Time to wake updog. Son: *groggily* What's updog? Mom: Just waking you up for school, dog, what's up wit u? Dad (from hallway): OWNED"
"I just saw a guy with a mustache exactly like my grandpa's. I doubt it was his though; grandpa never let anyone borrow his mustache."
"When I go out in public with my brother; people think he is my boyfriend, which is crazy because we broke up over 12 years ago."
"What is Tumblr's favourite branch of maths? Trigger-nometry... I'll see myself out."
"[Olive Garden] PATRON: there are so many types of pasta WAITER: [required to say this] yes...*clenches teeth* the pastabilities are endless"
"MOST LETTERS Q: What two words contain the most letters? A: Post office."
"Realtor: This house here comes with a playroom Wife: Oh, the kids will love that! Realtor: It's not that kind of playroom Husband: Nice"
"Food is like dark humor.. Not everyone gets it."
"My dad just gave me a toilet plunger as a house warming gift. Dads, they're always helpin you with shit "