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Joke of the Day

"New Year's Resolution- Date more models... Edit: Date more Edit: Date again LAST Edit: Stop crying while masturbating"

"I saw my neighbour jogging at 1am this morning and said ""It's a bit late for you Kathy, isn't it ?"". She said ""I couldn't sleep"". I said ""That's not what I meant, you fat b*tch""...."

"Because they need to bring young people to the church, insiders say the front runner for Pope is Seth MacFarlane."

"[Job interview] ""How would you describe yourself?"" ""I'd use the appropriate adjectives."" ""Anything else?"" ""Over-literal sometimes."""

"Why are dogs always thirsty? Because water fountains were designed for humans! HEYOOOOOOO"

"There's a police officer trying to get me to roll down my window. I'm calling the cops."

"I entered a contest to win a car, but ended up winning a phone It was Nokia, but it was still a great prize."

"Why does Donald Trump tweet stuff at 3am? Because it's almost afternoon in Russia at that time."

"Daylight robbery... I got robbed today at Shell gas station. I called the cops, and they asked if I knew who did it. I said, ""Yeah, pump 6."""

"It's ok Apple users, I just woke up and found a surprise Nickelback album on my BlackBerry."