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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why do fish live in saltwater? A: Pepper makes them sneeze."

"Aliens are taking people with . . . . . . .Big Dicks! Dont worry you are safe! Im just telling my favourite alternative news site that i wont be around for a while!"

"If I can't stand on a counter top display at Home Depot and shit in the sink then we are truly living in a fascist society."

"I got 9 inches last night, 8 inches today and 7 inches coming tonight. Obviously, Winter is happy to see me."

"My young nephew said that people with glasses should only be able to marry other people with glasses. He's like a tiny Republican senator."

"What's got 24 balls and screws small animals? A shotgun shell."

"A guy goes to a five dollar lady of the night.. and he gets crabs. So, the next day he goes back to complain. And the woman says ""Hey. It was only five dollars. What did you expect? Lobster?"""

"Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you'll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief"

"How do Chinese people laugh? LMAO ZEDONG!"

"7yo: I'M REALLY MAD AT YOU MOMMA SO I'M GOING TO BED EARLY Me: OH NO. NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT"