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Joke of the Day

"If Jesus was hangin out at the WTC in the 21st century.. Would he have been killed by Pontius Pilot?"

"Okay stranger, it's clear that we walk at the exact same pace, speed up or at least hold my hand."

"Your life doesn't get better by chance. It gets better by choice."

"What do you call a lazy sandstone? A sedentary rock."

"How many Asians does it take to change a light bulb? 2. 1 to change the light bulb, the other to take pictures."

"The best thing about the Earth is if you poke holes in it oil and gas come out."

"What do you call a Bronie in the military? A GIbronie!"

"While I appreciate that you're bringing sexy back, if we're not also discussing who took sexy away, we're only enabling future sexy problems"

"Had a three-way on Valentine's night... Me and Ben & Jerrys. I'm so lonely."

"40 years later: - Grandpa, sing me a song of your youth. - Oppa Gangnam Style. Opp, opp, opp, opp!"