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Joke of the Day

"My wife left a note on the fridge that said ""This isn't working I'm going to my mom's"" I opened up the fridge. The light was on and the beer was cold. I'm not sure what she was talking about."

"Mitch Hedberg R.I.P Buddy I was told to move because I was blocking the fire exit ... as if I wouldn't run if there was a fire ... anything flamable and has legs can't ever block a fire exit"

"when i tell guys i want a baby i just assume they kno i don't mean a human one. i want a baby antelope, a baby hedgehog, a baby lizard"

"Blondes What is a blondes favourite nursery rhyme? Humpme Dumpme."

"Why did the lion lose at poker? He was playing with a cheetah."

"4-year-old: ""Frozen"" is on TV! Me: We have it on DVD. And Blu-ray. And digital download. 4: Yeah, but this one is on right now."

"Pete and Repeat were sitting on a fence. Pete fell off, who was left?"

"Q: What do you get when you cross a camera with a mirror? A: A camera that takes pictures of itself."

"The economy is so bad... even the rope splicer can't make ends meet."

"If my name was Richard I would become a professional photographer and call my company Dick Pics"