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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a botched circumcision? A total rip-off."

"[First day of prison] ""Hey man. Wanna be in our gang?"" Sure, I'll call you. Just give me your cell number *gets stabbed*"

"interviewer: any interests outside of work me: war and space documentaries mom: he means star wars me: mom stay in the car mom: nerd"

"What do you call a lesbian driving a Ford Windstar full of penises? A dick-van dyke. -Credit to Louis CK"

"Did you hear about the Mexican train robber? He really had loco-motives."

"I tried to be polite and hold the door open for a woman, but she kept screaming, ""I'm peeing in here!"" Fucking b*tch."

"I live in a hutch filled with vibrating cedar chips"

"Auto correct is like when a 3yo kid wants to help wash the car.its a nice gesture but really its just slowing shit down! :)"

"There's lots of reasons to shave your pubic hair as a man... Because it was longer than my dick is apparently not as popular of a reason as I thought."

"Pope Innocent is an oxymoron"