82666

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Mexican train robber? He really had loco-motives."

"""I'd hit that"" -old people who drive"

"Air Conditioning is pretty cool"

"I'm not saying the Internet lies, but there is an alarming discrepancy in the number of iPads I've won and the number that I actually own."

"I wish I could remember how the hell I ignored people before I owned a cell phone."

"What do you call pasta sex? pennetration."

"So i was fucking this midget with one arm (nsfw) Boy, is my arm tired."

"Portland is on fire and the nearest Trump voter is 300 miles away. Democrats have a terrible ground game."

"A man comes to the infodesk in a mall And says: ""Sorry, I seem to have lost my son in the mall, can I make an announcement on your PA system?"" ""Oh, sure"" The man leans towards the mike: ""I'm vegan"""

"Offense: When it's a legal matter, it's pronounced o-FENCE. When it's sports, it's pronounced OFF-ence. Climbing... ? A fence."